You’re right, sweetie, “your brand ain’t that special.” Oh, the hubris it takes to hide an ego that fragile and a personality that hideous.
"LaidNYC" purports to be a NY-based pick-up artist; you may know him from past rhetorical standouts like "Don’t Marry Women over 25." His recent essay on how much his sperm is worth (a lot) can be summed up in this one prudent declaration: "My seed is liquid gold and I don’t give it out like its god damn tap water." But the entire paean is worth a read — not because we’re outraged or offended, mind you, just because this dude’s Casanova fanfic is so pathetic it needs to be mocked.
From the submitter:
I guess we all should be investing in Spooge Index Funds… This is one of the more hilarious TMI postings in recent memory. To hear this guy tell it, nightclubs are packed with prim Miss Porter’s graduates with an insatiable craving for alpha semen; his spunk built all of civilization and has its own Social Register listing; and women’s 50% genetic contribution actually counts for nothing because reasons. It’s been making the rounds of the internet.
Hey tartlets, could you please stop posting whorish selfies where you wear pjs in your dens of iniquity? It gives my teen sons (pictured frolicking half-naked right here!) teh bonerz. And I don’t want to have to go to all the bother of teaching them accountability; that they and they alone are responsible for their own thoughts and actions. Kthanxbai. Smooches, Mrs. Hag Hall
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