Someone posted the question below on the blog. I feel like the above post answers it, but I’d love to hear everyone else’s thoughts as well!
Hey, STFUC.
I think you should enable your “ASK” feature on Tumblr. I wanted to ask you, as I think you of all people would have the best sense to answer this kind of question and I can’t really find discussion about it on the internet, but why do think it is necessary that people ALWAYS find the need to REAFFIRM that they are happily married, or that they are happy in their relationship, or that everything is perfect.
Is it blatant insecurity in their situation? Is it the truth?
I see so much of that on Facebook everyday and it’s from the people who I would least tend to believe.
What’s your psychoanalyzation about people just “putting it out there (AGAIN)” how happy they are?
In my experience, most people who are is solid, secure, loving relationships don’t feel the need to scream about it either on FB or in real life - just like people who are genuinely unique/quirky don’t feel the need to shove it down your throat and provide ten forms of notarized proof of nuttiness. The above post is a good example of the type of relationshit about which people brag. It’s filled with drama, insecurity, and a lack of healthy boundaries and therefore requires the participants to assure everyone they know, themselves included, that they are OMGSOINLURVE and not drama junkies. It’s not that they’re filled with self-loathing and emotionally abuse each other. Oh, no! They’re in love and love makes you do crazy things. Some people think that this is what relationships are supposed to look like, all peaks and valleys and moaning and teeth-gnashing and hair-pulling; they live with their Rom-Com goggles glued to their eyes. Some people thrive off of drama and attention and use relationshits as a way to get their fix. Some people are immature and need to grow up, which can happen to folks who should have already matured past this phase.
On the flip side, I do know a couple of couples in good relationships who pull the comperiority shtick in real life. They are in stable and loving relationships. They tend to be competitive and sometimes they’re in denial over the (minor and solvable) problems in their relationship. Their bragging is more of the smug, competitive, superior brand than the flat-out drag you into my delusion and denial because I NEED ATTENTION brand. They believe that they have the secret to twu wuv and set the standard, which tends to be more about personal insecurities than problems inherent within the relationship.
Finally, I think some people just overshare. They get excited and want to include everyone. Maybe they don’t have a clear understanding of boundaries and privacy. Maybe they’re the human equivalent of a labrador retriever. Maybe it’s their way of reality checking their lives. It’s not always a bad thing, even though it’s not my thing.
